Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
“…All I can say is if one day you start to lose your memory I promise to manipulate you to get you the best care and living situation possible even if you can’t understand why…” texted our college-age son when I expressed my concern about over-stepping in Mom’s care. Wow.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“A defining event of my life occurred when I was 1 1/2 years old,” wrote Mom of a childhood infection, “I was lucky to survive.” I hoped that this time around, at almost 85, she would recover as she had back then. We just had to convince her to take her medicine!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
After a tough day, a nurse roused Mom for her night time medicine; afterward, when I told Mom how much I loved her, she smiled and said, “I love you too, thank you for helping me.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Mom suddenly sat up in bed. i stopped her before she ripped out the tube in her side. when i handed her her hearing aid, she tried to put it in her mouth. it was time for memory dog to step aside and call in the big dog.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
It was the first time I’d signed a consent form on Mom’s behalf. As I waited for her bone marrow biopsy, I realized I was like a seeing eye dog, only my job was to provide short-term memory. When I told Mom later that I was happy to be her memory dog, she smiled groggily and asked me where my tail was.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Maybe for worriers, it’s a blessing to forget – what we cannot remember, we cannot fret. Somewhere in the middle, we may get stuck – then we’re totally, shit out of luck. Unless we have someone, standing right there – to give us a smile and offer us care. Being the one to get it done – can be a bit much and sometimes not fun. Being a part of a bigger team – that is the way, the way that redeems. : )
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …
“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …
“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Fifteen hundred miles from home and I was still worried about Mom. The wild weather at sea turned out to be exactly what I needed—like Dad was taking care of me from above, dumping water on my head, changing things up, and reminding me to accept when I’m not in control, to ride it out, and to let myself have some spontaneous fun.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“Keep enjoying the simple moments with your mom and every little adventure, for they will live in every fiber of your being as your mother’s light dims.” My high school coach’s message found me when I needed it most.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Four: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” I found myself fretting: was I doing enough to care for Mom? I was grateful for the gentle, healing opportunity offered by Step Four. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
