In caring for Mom, stuff was gonna happen that we couldn’t foresee or prevent. I was relieved when I remembered Dad’s post-game basketball advice. It was time to let go of the woulda coulda shouldas inherent in Mom’s care and move on to what we could do for her next.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Beautifully written, you are doing a great job. 🙂
Thank you Nancy.
You do such an amazing job with your Mom, Terry! You are admired by many people you aren’t even aware of. As I care for my own mom, I encounter these decisions as well. And it is totally on a trial and error basis most times. But as you said, we don’t have a crystal ball.. we can’t foresee if the Dr we choose will do what is best for our loved one. I have had to change Dr before.. after my mom was hospitalized in severe pain.. and her IM wouldn’t approve a MRI… infact it took me 5 Dr before someone would do an MRI. Mom had compression fractures in her back! And they wouldn’t admit her to the hospital as impatient. So, $30,000 later from her own dwindling bank acct … I learned my lesson! I thought her Dr was amazing… and then he pulled something like this. I had much regret about this… and to top it off… nobody was caring for my mom. Not to the degree she should have been cared for. I started out very controlled in seeking better care for her… and by the end of the stay at the hospital … I was a crying lunatic!! Getting in the face of the “hospitalist” who was calling the shots for my mom… who he knew about! Remember… in our world of health care now… some things are out of our control. But for you to be there for her.. and advocate… it is the best we can do! I always think of the little old people I see dropped off at the hospital by a van with nobody with them… who watches out for them… who is their advocate. I am very certain your Father is watching down from above… thinking you are so amazing!! ???
I appreciate you Karin!