Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
It hadn’t made sense to get mad at the kids for disrupted sleep, nor did it make sense to get irritated with Mom. I just had to make a plan to get some shut-eye and stick with it.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Mission accomplished. 170 years looked pretty damn good.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
As my concern for Berry the Beagle grew, my childhood friend Kathy dropped in, offering to hang with Mom while I took Berry to the animal hospital. A couple days later I met my childhood friend Nancy at the mall. We laughed so hard the back of my head throbbed. I needed to work on whatever those muscles were. I had a feeling I’d need ’em.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I’ve been called many things by those who are supposed to know me best:
“hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts.”
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get to a place where their words don’t cause me pain.
Probably not…that’s one of the costs of being:
“hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts.”
Here are some things I’ve realized, moving back to where I’m from:
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I don’t need to be loved by everybody, just by some.
I can choose those who accept sensitivity, emotionality and even nuttiness.
I can live with the anger I feel at expectations unmet,
the fear I feel at being judged, and the sadness I feel at being rejected.
I can take care of me, even when it’s difficult –
exercise, hydration, nutrition, sleep, writing, friendship, animals, family, faith –
The healing these bring is within reach.
This is the way to take care of me, not believing what I am told when I am not who others want me to be.
“Hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts” – yes!
With these three things, I’ve been blessed.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I met Hannah when I coached her on a fast-pitch softball team. I never anticipated that it would be Hannah, ten years later, who’d help us care for Mom. No surprise, Hannah was a great teammate!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Deep vein thrombosis, her leg all swollen and blue, and we feared a bleed.
On blood thinner now, filter protecting her lungs, home to recover.
Compression stocking, why are you so freakin’ tight? No more blood clots, right?
Noticing the bench, “I played piano on that…” she says with a smile.
“Is that Mother’s chair?” I nod at the needlepoint, “Is she still around?”
“About the baby, can we make a plan to see?” a great grandma now.
Behind her at work, the builder pounding away, making our home sound.
Ever resilient, her eyes as blue as the sea, a cat with nine lives.
Mom sits with a book, dog in lap rocking a way, a smile on my face.
Eighty-five years young, expect the unexpected, one day at a time.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
While I respected that church was the best way for some to worship, it wasn’t the only way. I was grateful for all the diverse experiences that had helped me develop a faith that guided me daily and set me free.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In celebration, I recommit to these goals set in March 2016, shortly after Mom moved in with us:
For Today:
Serenity
Courage
Wisdom
Speak quietly
Speak truth
Live and let live
Let go and let Love
❤️
Forgive
Embrace
Celebrate
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Eleven: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of our Higher Power’s will for us and the power to carry that out.” When I’m feeling anxious and need a hand to hold, I can hold my own. Then I’ll find my hands are joined in prayer, and I am not alone. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
