Dad died 23 years ago. How can it be? My father-in law, Cliff, died three months ago. How can it be?
I remember well Mom’s words after we’d turned off the machine keeping Dad alive, as per his wish: “I know the pain of a girl losing her dad. I’m so sorry for your loss” — a heartbreak we suddenly shared.
Who knew I’d feel a sorrow like that twice?
How lucky am I that I got to have two fathers to love and to grieve in one life?
The first one raised me up, teaching me the values of hard work, humility, humor, and grit – fostering in me the confidence to use my voice, and my elbows, as the situation called for.
The second one took me in, stepping onto a chair to announce the engagement that would connect us by law and into the fathering role when my dad died – offering friendship, guidance, acknowledgment, and wit that I sorely missed.
How lucky am I that the love, appreciation and grace I learned from losing my first dad, I got to give to my second dad?
Both men had my back while they were alive and they flank me now that they have died – their protective presence, clever insight, and patient support giving me balance and strength as I step forth, their shared good humor putting a smile on my face, even now.
I’m so very grateful to both of these guys. Even as I miss them dearly, I value all the ways they are still right here at my sides.
Glory Be! as the ebullient Reverend William A. Jones, another great dad, loved to say.
How can it be? Glory Be!
