The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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Newest Release…

January 11, 2024

Sharing this book reminds me of opening Sunshine’s crate.

Rather than dashing to the sea, Sunshine peered out, cautiously. When her crate was gently disassembled and she was eased onto the sand, she made her way slowly down the beach, guided by her Marine Mammals of Maine (MMoME) caregivers who shielded her view of the spectators gathered to cheer for her and poolmate Dexxy. When Sunshine made it to the bay, she paused in the shallows while she acclimated to the chilly water, lapping waves, glistening sun. Then she submerged, and off she went. 

I can relate to Sunshine’s apparent reluctance, as I release this book I wrote and illustrated about her recovery, from collection to rehabilitation to release. I also received great care along the way and down the homestretch – from my childhood friends Nancy (who illustrated the front cover), Biz (who took photos of the release) and Margie (who cheered my every step), to my editor, Genie Dailey (Fine Points Editorial Services), and my creative coach, Lindy Gifford (www.manifestidentity.com), to the folks at MMoME (who gave the book their thumbs up).

Wanting to get the story and its details right, I too have taken my sweet time before taking the plunge. And just like the time came for Sunshine to swim free, the time has come to set her story free. So here it is, available online and by request at your local book shop. I hope you enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, One day at a time, Travels of a Gray Seal Pup terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit’s Winter Holiday Surprise

October 2, 2023

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”—Victor Hugo (1802-1885), author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables

Across traditions, winter holidays are observed with decorations, foods, gifts, lights, rituals, and visits with family and friends. They celebrate hope and joy, even amidst hardship. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer:

In this last book of the series, Douglas invites the other animals to a gathering that captures the friendships they share. It’s a reminder of the importance of making time for what matters most: Connection to others and the world we share.

This one’s a shout-out to my spouse, Doug, and our children—Siena, Matt, and Garrett—with whom we witness the humor and beauty around us, with special thanks to the sightings that inspired the illustrations: Canadian geese skidding to a stop across fresh ice, paper snowflakes created by the kids from coffee filters, shooting stars streaking across the night sky.

I share this story today, on what would have been Dad’s 90th birthday, in gratitude for all the ways he made us laugh, including his story-telling, and for encouraging me to tell stories, too.

“Peace and quiet,” he’d say, a twinkle in his eye, when I’d ask him what he wanted for his birthday.

When I ask myself that question, as I approach my sixtieth, what I want is the gift of kindness.

So, in wrapping the Douglas the Rabbit Adventure Series, it makes sense that, even without doing so intentionally, this final story celebrates these three gifts: peace, quiet, and kindness.

I hope you enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith, Sacred Practices, Taking care of self, Uncategorized Celebrating joy, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Natural beauty, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story

June 6, 2023

When I was young, I loved my dad’s Douglas the Rabbit stories. It’s probably no coincidence that I married a Douglas of my own. When our kids were little, I tucked them into bed at night with Douglas stories too. After my dad died, I decided to write his story down, illustrating it with colored pencils which were easy to use in the midst of our busy family life. I enjoyed this process so much I created three more. 

When efforts to publish these stories proved unsuccessful–apparently, he’s not the only rabbit out there!–I tucked that goal away, along with the books, content to share them where I could: with my friend Pam who invited me to read to her second-grade class, with my niece Holly who took Douglas to Tanzania to share with kids there, and with my mom, Laures, who loved to peruse the unpublished books.

Little did my dad know when he made up those stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids. Little did I know that the stories I wrote to remember my dad after he died, and to save for our kids, would someday entertain my mom (see https://thejoyofcaring.com/2020/04/23/laughter-in-grief-showing-up-the-best-we-can-and-finding-hope-amidst-loss/).

We don’t always anticipate how our dots will connect, only that they somehow do. It’s just plain fun when things turn out all right, after all. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story which celebrates the good things in life: adventure, nature, friendship, homecoming, and more.

You can find The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story at your local book store (just ask) and online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, and Bookshop (just click).

And there are three more on the way – Enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Taking care of self Adventure, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 3 Comments

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

More Picks of our Walk with Mom

July 19, 2022

Finding time, Having fun, Making peace Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Gratitude, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Labor of Love, another take on “caregiver burden”

September 10, 2020

Labor Day, after everyone left, leaving me and the dogs, I spent several hours doing the laundry, covering the boat, taking down the flag, moving things around, packing things up. Mom was with me every step of the way I realized as I stored the paddles behind the bathroom door, like she used to do. Sometimes what looks like a burden is actually an opportunity to heal.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

Mom’s birthday, another first

July 10, 2020

Looking at photos of 17-year-old Mom the summer her dad died, and following her as she marched forward into a life spent pushing the boundaries, I understood that her “living is for living” wasn’t just a way to deal with her elder years, it was the way she’d handled early loss and carried on.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Believe, Eldercare, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

Remembering to Breathe, ie. taking care of ourselves during the holidays

December 9, 2019

On retreat with the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine, I took a long walk by myself in the woods. I flopped down in the fresh snow. I lay there, looking up at a tall evergreen that reached up to the blue sky (the blue Mom loved). I breathed in and out, deliberately, five times. It felt so good, I decided to go for ten.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Grief, Keep it simple, Life after death, Losing a loved one terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

On the Edge, aka re-finding balance in caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease

August 29, 2019

Stepping away gave me time to feel Alzheimer’s vastness – like standing beside the Grand Canyon, exhausted, I felt overwhelmed, like I could fall right in. The following summer, during valuable caregiving hours, my spouse and I visited local memory and nursing care facilities. Our options better understood, I could get back to taking it a day at a time and feeling grateful for the moments we still had with Mom in our home. 

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self A day at a time, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Parenting, Step 3 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

Never too old to play basketball

July 7, 2019

It was an honor to be one of 130 Maine athletes to attend the National Senior Games where I played on Team Phoenix. Watching women, ages 50-90, play basketball, not only inspired me, it gave me hope –  I wanted to be kicking ass when I’m in my eighties and beyond too!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Finding time, Having fun, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Practicing faith, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Eldercare, Fun, Gratitude, Health first, Pivoting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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