Helping Mom manage her finances was an important step in her care, one I’m glad we took, despite our discomfort, before another loss.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
#TBT – Helping Mom Manage her Finances
“First Things First”
Starting to feel breathless with all the What Ifs, I remembered this AA slogan. The nurse drew blood and collected urine in record time and, free to go, I asked Mom what she wanted for lunch. “Something meaty,” she replied: First Things First!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Curveball Complete (what I learned during Mom’s second hospital stay)
I was starting to feel emotional about the changes ahead and grateful for the prospect of time together beforehand, when I noticed Mom’s intestinal bleed – a “complete curveball” my husband called it… and a classic example of the importance of “Letting Go of Expectations,” as they say in AA.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The Challenges of Pain and Delirium as they relate to Dementia – aka Guess who has a UTI?
While it complicated her care, Mom’s inability to remember the pain or other details had its advantages: she loved taking guilt-free naps with Cinnamon and regularly expressed gratitude for her good health when I tucked her in at night.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Head’s Up re: Infection and Alzheimer’s Disease
Even in the absence of pain or other symptoms, any change is reason to seek help. We were extremely fortunate that after all Mom had been through, her interactivity had returned. As she slogged through another round of pre-CT scan barium solution, I handed her a magazine; she took a quick look and threw it down on the table: “Housekeeping!” she proclaimed, “who wants to read a magazine about that!”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“Living is for Living” – Mom’s Three Things
In the many conversations we’d had regarding whether Mom wanted a DNR, this was her bottom line: “There’s no point to living if you’re not really living.” So, as I made our daily plans, in addition to the items Mom’s care required, I added time to enjoy a “calm and prolonged breakfast,” nature, and companionship.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Online History during Hospital Stay
…prednisone makes some patient’s worse, diverticulitis can be very painful, surgery is not always necessary, ice cream sandwiches and haikus help, dementia gets in the way of pain relief, delirium isn’t necessarily permanent, fecal impaction is no joke, Milk of Magnesia works…
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
homesick
Mom suddenly sat up in bed. i stopped her before she ripped out the tube in her side. when i handed her her hearing aid, she tried to put it in her mouth. it was time for memory dog to step aside and call in the big dog.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Aren’t We Lucky?
Bottom Line? Mom still kicked ass, even with “moderate dementia of the Alzheimer’s type” (doctor’s new diagnosis) as I witnessed at night when I’d go in to tell her I loved her and she’d say: “Aren’t we lucky?”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Tuesday’s Conversation – a week later, on having a stroke in the eye
That night, when Mom stood up to go to bed, she looked at me with her one good eye, smiled, and said, “Thank you for helping me to … to try to stay alive.” Not morbid, not dramatic, just straight-forward and true – that was Mom.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
