The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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Newest Release…

January 11, 2024

Sharing this book reminds me of opening Sunshine’s crate.

Rather than dashing to the sea, Sunshine peered out, cautiously. When her crate was gently disassembled and she was eased onto the sand, she made her way slowly down the beach, guided by her Marine Mammals of Maine (MMoME) caregivers who shielded her view of the spectators gathered to cheer for her and poolmate Dexxy. When Sunshine made it to the bay, she paused in the shallows while she acclimated to the chilly water, lapping waves, glistening sun. Then she submerged, and off she went. 

I can relate to Sunshine’s apparent reluctance, as I release this book I wrote and illustrated about her recovery, from collection to rehabilitation to release. I also received great care along the way and down the homestretch – from my childhood friends Nancy (who illustrated the front cover), Biz (who took photos of the release) and Margie (who cheered my every step), to my editor, Genie Dailey (Fine Points Editorial Services), and my creative coach, Lindy Gifford (www.manifestidentity.com), to the folks at MMoME (who gave the book their thumbs up).

Wanting to get the story and its details right, I too have taken my sweet time before taking the plunge. And just like the time came for Sunshine to swim free, the time has come to set her story free. So here it is, available online and by request at your local book shop. I hope you enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, One day at a time, Travels of a Gray Seal Pup terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine

November 7, 2023

Last spring, I started another children’s book, this one based on the journey that began with discovering a stranded gray seal pup while we were taking a winter dog walk. I was inspired by what I witnessed as I watched Marine Mammals of Maine (MMoME) collect, rehabilitate, and release this beautiful creature and her poolmate Dexxy back into Casco Bay. Writing it all down felt like a celebration of dedication, generosity, resilience, hope, and grit. Telling this caregiving story felt lighter than the last one I shared (Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story) as it involved sitting at my table drawing pictures of baby seals while Peach the Cat tried to play with my trusty coloring pencils.

This fall, as the book neared completion, unexpected challenges popped up in my personal life and horrific aggressions happened globally, then locally. I lost the clarity I usually rely on to get things done. While I wanted to do justice to A Seal Named Sunshine: The Story of Sunshine and All the Rest Who Made a Big Splash One Winter in Maine, my focus was pulled to the broader losses, and I wondered if obsessing on a seal’s eye markings was inappropriate, self-indulgent, and even denial of the larger context.

I thank my lucky stars for my creative coach and publishing consultant Lindy Gifford (www.manifestidentity.com) for her patience with my tweaks and her continued attention to the details, those I missed and those I had a hard time letting go. 

In the wake of the mass shooting in Lewiston, I texted her an apology for my slow pace: “Hi Lindy, I just wanted to acknowledge, as I continue to finesse Sunshine’s image, there’s so much loss, sadness and fear in our state right now. I hope you and your loved ones are okay, even as I know this touches us all even if from a distance…”

Lindy replied: “Don’t worry, Terry. We have to keep doing our work…These are scary and unsettling times for sure and I am happy I can also work on good books like yours with good people like you… Sending calm and resolve to us all.”

This is not the first time Lindy has helped me stay the course through the home stretch of self-publication. I appreciate her presence at my side, sorting through all kinds of things, from caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease, to describing fictional animal adventures (The Douglas the Rabbit Adventure Series), to capturing the intricacies of marine mammal conservation.

I realize today that all the drawing and redrawing does not minimize graver concerns, it actually gives me comfort and purpose. As I hold close the devastating losses faced by so many, I allow myself space to finish this project, in the hope it will support the efforts of organizations like MMoME while also spreading the wonder I experienced watching them work their magic. I hope A Seal Named Sunshine will bring you joy like it does me. I’ll let you know when it’s available : )

Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Speaking up Caregiving, Gratitude, Grey Seal Pups, Maine Wildlife, Marine Mammal Conservation, Marine Mammal Rehab, Marine Mammal Stranding Response, Marine Mammals of Maine, Rehab Buddies, Seal Rehabilitation, Seal Release, Stranded Seal, Travels of a Gray Seal Pup, Wildlife Rehab terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Up next, just in time for Mom’s birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends

July 19, 2023

Douglas the Rabbit is a character that my dad created when I was a girl. The first book, The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story, introduced Douglas and his adventurous spirit. The second book, Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends, goes back to the previous spring to describe how Douglas befriends a bird, a skunk, a chipmunk, and a fox… a diverse group of animals, for sure.

While the first story stayed true to the story my dad told, this one reflects my own everyday adventures with my family and pets, especially our hamster Mischief who showed us how she could store treats in her cheeks.

And too, it reflects Mom’s GO FOR IT approach to new challenges – which I celebrate today, her 91st birthday.

Click on the book photo to find it on Amazon, or go to your local bookstore and ask for it there. Enjoy!

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud #gotitfrommymama, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

Grief and Guilt, a year later, and the Magic of Fruit Loops, Pivoting, Barking Dogs, Yellow Leaves and Blue Jays

October 12, 2020

As we returned home from an afternoon hike, Siena spotted another Blue Jay, this one perched in a tree at the top of our street. We looked at each other and smiled, understanding that Mom is still right here, with us. We just need to be available to the moment, the best we can.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, Alzheimer's Disease, Canine Caregiver, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Grief, Hospice Care, Life after death, Pet Therapy, Pivoting, Progress not Perfection terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

Laughter in Grief – showing up the best we can and finding hope amidst loss

April 23, 2020

Little did Dad know when he made up Douglas the Rabbit stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids; little did I know that the stories I wrote down to remember Dad after he died, would someday entertain Mom, when she could no longer get out of bed.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, COVID-19, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

COVID-19 Staying at Home – finding guidance in parental wisdom during this time of pandemic stress

April 1, 2020

Tamridge, Mom and Dad, circa 1980

There were moments, when nothing seemed as it was and everything seemed newly tenuous. Dad’s “we shall see” and “bottom line” and Mom’s “living is for living” and “aren’t we lucky” reminded me to be patient, to simplify, to let go of fear, and to count our blessings.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Gathering Info, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Corona Virus 2019, COVID-19, Eldercare, Gratitude, In the Moment, Infection, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 14 Comments

Speaking of pep in her step – Cinnamon’s getting hers back too!

February 14, 2020

I worried when Mom died, we might lose Cinnamon too. Then, somewhere along the way, she reset her sights. It was as if the love we’d given her as a puppy, she gave to Mom during their life together, and all the love Mom gave her during that time, Cinnamon was passing on to us now.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Canine Caregiver, Caregiving, Dementia, Eldercare, In the Moment, Life after death, Pet Therapy, Pets terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Grief and Belief, in the four weeks since Mom passed on

November 12, 2019

Mom died at dawn on Tuesday, October 15, 2019 – two years from the day we got her back to Maine. Then, at 54, our beautiful friend Terry T died too. Even in the midst of battling cancer, she’d texted me: Sorry about your mom, but I know, because I believe, that she is at peace. Thank you dear Terry T for showing me the way. Peace be with you, too.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Grief, Hospice Care, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

Here’s to you Ainty Jono

September 1, 2019

I was lucky that this sweet, funny, intelligent, kick ass, sassy woman was my aunt and that her daughters and their spouses were part of my village. I hoped we’d see Mom through her life with the steady, patient and brave approach that helped them see Aunt Joan through hers. I was thankful to them for showing me that it could be done.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Speaking up Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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