Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
I was grateful for my husband and kids and our awesome caregivers who spent enough time with Mom to know her well, to let me know what they saw, and to make sure she got her meds when I stepped away.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I learned long ago, in Al-Anon, that when we feel irritable or unreasonable, we need to “HALT” – it may be that we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired. Sometimes HALTing means putting our own feet up, sometimes it means taking a moment to learn from others who are doing just that.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The wonder of it is, finding and using a more loving language is something we can all do, here and now, to make the world more beautiful.
From my diary two years before, as I stepped into the shoes of health care agent:
Please help me to care for Mom,
to stay in the moment with her while getting her the health care she needs,
to keep her safe while supporting her independence,
to collaborate with the boys and all the rest,
to meet her needs as well as those of the others in my life, and
to stay right here, right now, while figuring out what’s next.
Thank you for helping us to help her.
Amen
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When I reminded her that her license had expired and reassured her that I’d be happy to drive her anywhere she wanted to go, Mom nodded and smiled. What a relief that the driving question was behind us.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
How could we be so blessed a third time around? He’s so many things…among them a constant reminder that this is not a limited supply of love and beauty we are dealing with, it’s an endless one.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Sunday morning, two days after we stopped the Tramadol, as she tried to make sense of the prior couple of days, Mom asked, “Who’s going to keep me from going crazy?” I was glad I could answer, “I will do my best, Mom, and Doug will help too.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
While it complicated her care, Mom’s inability to remember the pain or other details had its advantages: she loved taking guilt-free naps with Cinnamon and regularly expressed gratitude for her good health when I tucked her in at night.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In the many conversations we’d had regarding whether Mom wanted a DNR, this was her bottom line: “There’s no point to living if you’re not really living.” So, as I made our daily plans, in addition to the items Mom’s care required, I added time to enjoy a “calm and prolonged breakfast,” nature, and companionship.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
If our dog Bubby Blue made the rules, here’s what she’d say: See a treat? Go ahead and eat.
Want to swim? Jump on in.
Hungry? Help yourself.
See a stranger? Bark.
Don’t hold grudges, it’s a waste of time.
Tired? Take a nap.
Lonely? Get a hug.
Got an itch? Let someone scratch it.
Need to poop? Poop.
Just keep wagging your tail, and you’ll be fine.
Never give up… it’s the little things in life that make it worth living.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
