When I blogged about caring for Mom, I meant to keep it real. I wrote about what I was experiencing, editing to make sure it was readable, and then letting it fly. I wrote to reflect, to connect, to relieve, unaware of certain choices, like whether “to quote,” to italicize, to make bold, to use exclamation points!

In the midst of a later read-through of Living Is for Living, the book based on the reflections I blogged, one of the students I tutor was reading an assignment aloud. The plot was complex, and he was working hard to interpret the details. I was struck by how his tone shifted when he got to a sentence in italics; his voice showed that he knew those words were significant, even before he read them.

Which landed me back at my computer the next morning, reviewing Living Is for Living, this time paying attention to the emphasis I’d used. I discovered plenty of all four techniques, which made sense given the intensity of what I was feeling and describing along the way, which led to a realization today:

Sometimes, the words I say are heard differently than how I mean them. I wonder, in the way I speak, in the emphasis I offer, am I cueing the recipient in an effective way? Not that I need to, that I even can, hide how deeply I feel what I feel, still, I can certainly be more aware of how I communicate and its impact on others.

Both in writing and in conversing, I can “slow down,” pay attention, step away, and come back more intentional about how and what I emphasize—even when I’m charged up!