The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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A Mom’s Love, unlimited

May 11, 2025

Three decades ago, pregnant and new to Wisconsin, I injured my back. My spouse away, I was grateful for the friends who broke into our house to take care of our toddler and call for an ambulance.

The very next day, Mom flew in from Maine to take care of things while I got back on my feet (literally), and then break me out of the hospital, driving me home in the way back of the minivan to a first floor hospital bed she had procured.

That was Mom’s love: she showed up at the drop of a hat, wherever, whenever, and got the job done.

A year ago, record-breaking weather hit the home in Maine where we’d cared for Mom during her last stretch, in a first floor hospital bed we had procured. I wrote about that journey in Living Is for Living — Mom’s words when I asked for her two cents when Alzheimer’s disease made her health care tricky.

The historic storms and hefty clean-up were a wake-up call. Until then, my spouse and I had assigned what’s next? to the future. Suddenly, it was crystal clear it was time for us to consider our next steps.

In the midst of this, I flew to Wisconsin to be a good grandma and dog sit, a welcome distraction from wild weather stress. Waiting for the plane to de-ice on my homeward trek, I reflected on my attachment to the house we’d so lovingly renovated, which had brought me back to Maine after twenty-five years away. I loved our last chapter living there, with Mom, my husband, our adult kids, friends and pets. It was hard to fathom leaving it, even though Mom and several of the pets had passed on, and the kids had since fanned out far away.

With a heavy heart, I googled “how to let go of a house when you are emotionally attached.” There were lots of good ideas I’d try in the coming year, and I realized it was possible to love a home and its story the way I did and still move on. I just needed to trust that the next chapter could be awesome too.

Just then I looked up to spot, two seats ahead, a baseball cap that read October 15, 1997.

While 1997 didn’t strike a chord, October 15 did. That’s the day Mom had died, in our beloved seaside home, me and the animals at her side.

All of a sudden, I knew without doubt, that Mom was with me, and that she’d continue to be with me, wherever I am and wherever I go.

I don’t need a certain house to keep her close.

That is Mom’s love: it isn’t limited to time or place, it’s with me wherever I am, wherever I go.

Mom’s “Living Is for Living” is all I need to keep her near. This reminder’s helped me through challenges I’ve encountered since, wrapping up the last chapter and turning toward the next, this one yet to be written.

Here’s to a Mom’s love, unlimited — Happy Mother’s Day!

Accepting help, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

Walking with Mom, year two, in grief and in joy, too

June 25, 2021

As I stood on the stage, being ordained an interfaith minister by the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine, I heard and felt Mom’s presence in the birds singing in the trees and the gentle breeze on my face. I felt the pieces of my story settling into place. I was excited, curious and, most of all, ready, for whatever comes next.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Learning as we go, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Grief, Hospice Care, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

Laughter in Grief – showing up the best we can and finding hope amidst loss

April 23, 2020

Little did Dad know when he made up Douglas the Rabbit stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids; little did I know that the stories I wrote down to remember Dad after he died, would someday entertain Mom, when she could no longer get out of bed.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, COVID-19, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

On the Edge, aka re-finding balance in caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease

August 29, 2019

Stepping away gave me time to feel Alzheimer’s vastness – like standing beside the Grand Canyon, exhausted, I felt overwhelmed, like I could fall right in. The following summer, during valuable caregiving hours, my spouse and I visited local memory and nursing care facilities. Our options better understood, I could get back to taking it a day at a time and feeling grateful for the moments we still had with Mom in our home. 

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self A day at a time, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Parenting, Step 3 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

For Today, a fresh start

November 2, 2017

575DDB3C-61D6-4713-9D5F-E056704130BB.jpeg
Mom’s response to learning she was a Great Grandma

In celebration, I recommit to these goals set in March 2016, shortly after Mom moved in with us:

For Today:

Serenity

Courage

Wisdom

Speak quietly

Speak truth

Live and let live

Let go and let Love

❤️

Forgive

Embrace

Celebrate

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Looking forward #ENDALZ, Eldercare, Gratitude, In the Moment, Newborns terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Moving Mom (again)

September 19, 2017

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Mom loved the fact this guy never stopped smiling, even in strong winds!

Of the many difficult decisions we’d made in caring for Mom, one of the most challenging was moving her away from her home in Maine. The time had come to move her back. Fingers crossed her health would remain stable until we got her there.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Looking forward Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Life after death, Marriage, Millennials, Parenting, Step 9 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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