Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
Little did Dad know when he made up Douglas the Rabbit stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids; little did I know that the stories I wrote down to remember Dad after he died, would someday entertain Mom, when she could no longer get out of bed.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There were moments, when nothing seemed as it was and everything seemed newly tenuous. Dad’s “we shall see” and “bottom line” and Mom’s “living is for living” and “aren’t we lucky” reminded me to be patient, to simplify, to let go of fear, and to count our blessings.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I worried when Mom died, we might lose Cinnamon too. Then, somewhere along the way, she reset her sights. It was as if the love we’d given her as a puppy, she gave to Mom during their life together, and all the love Mom gave her during that time, Cinnamon was passing on to us now.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
On retreat with the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine, I took a long walk by myself in the woods. I flopped down in the fresh snow. I lay there, looking up at a tall evergreen that reached up to the blue sky (the blue Mom loved). I breathed in and out, deliberately, five times. It felt so good, I decided to go for ten.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Mom died at dawn on Tuesday, October 15, 2019 – two years from the day we got her back to Maine. Then, at 54, our beautiful friend Terry T died too. Even in the midst of battling cancer, she’d texted me: Sorry about your mom, but I know, because I believe, that she is at peace. Thank you dear Terry T for showing me the way. Peace be with you, too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In Mom’s Alzheimer’s care, we’d guided her through a daily routine to promote her good moments. With the wisdom and support of her hospice team, we modified that approach to better meet her evolving needs. I was grateful that, even though caring for Mom as she approached death wasn’t easy, I got to do it and that, even when I felt alone, I was supported.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Stepping away gave me time to feel Alzheimer’s vastness – like standing beside the Grand Canyon, exhausted, I felt overwhelmed, like I could fall right in. The following summer, during valuable caregiving hours, my spouse and I visited local memory and nursing care facilities. Our options better understood, I could get back to taking it a day at a time and feeling grateful for the moments we still had with Mom in our home.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
It was an honor to be one of 130 Maine athletes to attend the National Senior Games where I played on Team Phoenix. Watching women, ages 50-90, play basketball, not only inspired me, it gave me hope – I wanted to be kicking ass when I’m in my eighties and beyond too!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Stepping away from caregiving to fly to the 2019 Senior National Basketball Games in New Mexico wasn’t easy. It helped to know that, if she could, Mom would be cheering us on.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When I discovered our eleven-year-old bunny rabbit sprawled out in her cage, I was hit with disbelief. Even when death is expected, peaceful, and quick, it can be hard to accept. I’m grateful for my spouse and neighbor Mandy who helped me through.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
