As my spouse put it when I fretted: “getting your Mom two weeks in Maine is like completing a triple salchow – that’s something to feel good about.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Triple Salchow – enough is enough
The Happiest Days, i.e. “Going to Camp”
As we weighed the challenges of getting Mom to camp vs. her love of summers there, I remembered her advice twenty-five years earlier when I asked her about taking our newborn first to live in Prague so that Doug could take a job there: “Go for it.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“Living is for Living” – Mom’s Three Things
In the many conversations we’d had regarding whether Mom wanted a DNR, this was her bottom line: “There’s no point to living if you’re not really living.” So, as I made our daily plans, in addition to the items Mom’s care required, I added time to enjoy a “calm and prolonged breakfast,” nature, and companionship.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
We Shall See… One Day at a Time
Like AA’s One Day at a Time, Dad’s “We shall see” freed me to turn my attention elsewhere. These days his approach helped me to take care of Mom in each moment – to offer and love, not to force or press.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There’s Still Joy
After a tough day, a nurse roused Mom for her night time medicine; afterward, when I told Mom how much I loved her, she smiled and said, “I love you too, thank you for helping me.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Vacation Defined (the dictionaries and me)
Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …
“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …
“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
#marchmadness
I’m Okay: Stay or go? I don’t know. Them or her? I’m not sure. Where to be? Don’t ask me. Either way, I’m okay.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The Joy of Caring
I titled this blog, with our eldest son’s encouragement, the joy of caring.com, intending to care for Mom in a way that helped me stay healthy, sane, and balanced, so that I could be present for this part of her life in a way she would want, that would benefit my spouse and kids, and that made space for joy, too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
