It’d been fifteen years since Dad died, and I looked for him every day, grateful for all the ways he was still right here, with me.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Looking for Dad
Under One Roof
Under one roof – a tremendous relief – our whole family, even when it’s brief.
Truly, I’m glad they’re livin’ their dreams – still, it’s not always as great as it seems.
Keepin’ it simple, I miss ’em when they’re away – not said to hold ’em back, just to enjoy this day.
There’s nuthin’ in the world like our home when it’s full – the laughter, the fun, even the bull.
A rambunctious crowd – I’d have it no other way – this is our family, each with our say.
Monday will come, as will the Fall, we’ll rearrange, still we’ll always be all.
Under one roof – a tremendous relief – our whole family, even when it’s brief.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
My Sisters (in-law)
My sisters (in-law) may not have been part of my start, still, I was grateful they were part of my present. Although we were from different gardens, I loved our awesome bouquet!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
a thousand words
Time to Be Three
Our ten-year-old, done with elementary school and on his way to middle school, sat at the kitchen counter one early summer morning,
“You know what I don’t get?” he said to me.
“They start preparing us to be big when we’re only three.
We go to pre-school to get ready for kindergarten,
To kindergarten to get ready for first grade,
To first grade to get ready for second,
Second to get ready for third,
Third to get ready for fourth,
Fourth to ready for fifth,
And fifth for sixth.
Now there’s sixth for seventh,
Seventh for eighth,
then eighth for ninth,
ninth for high school,
high school for college, and
college for your job.”
Our ten-year-old son, with the big blue eyes,
looked at me with clarity and asked,
“When does a three-year-old get to be three?”
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Head’s Up re: Infection and Alzheimer’s Disease
Even in the absence of pain or other symptoms, any change is reason to seek help. We were extremely fortunate that after all Mom had been through, her interactivity had returned. As she slogged through another round of pre-CT scan barium solution, I handed her a magazine; she took a quick look and threw it down on the table: “Housekeeping!” she proclaimed, “who wants to read a magazine about that!”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Step Six Readiness
AA’s Step Six: “Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.” These days, Dad was my ever-present ally, his wisdom helping me care for Mom each step of the way. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“Living is for Living” – Mom’s Three Things
In the many conversations we’d had regarding whether Mom wanted a DNR, this was her bottom line: “There’s no point to living if you’re not really living.” So, as I made our daily plans, in addition to the items Mom’s care required, I added time to enjoy a “calm and prolonged breakfast,” nature, and companionship.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Letting Go and Moving On
In caring for Mom, stuff was gonna happen that we couldn’t foresee or prevent. I was relieved when I remembered Dad’s post-game basketball advice. It was time to let go of the woulda coulda shouldas inherent in Mom’s care and move on to what we could do for her next.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Bubby Rules
If our dog Bubby Blue made the rules, here’s what she’d say: See a treat? Go ahead and eat.
Want to swim? Jump on in.
Hungry? Help yourself.
See a stranger? Bark.
Don’t hold grudges, it’s a waste of time.
Tired? Take a nap.
Lonely? Get a hug.
Got an itch? Let someone scratch it.
Need to poop? Poop.
Just keep wagging your tail, and you’ll be fine.
Never give up… it’s the little things in life that make it worth living.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
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