The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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A Week of Haikus for Darlene

Gosling in the Yard

On hospital time, with Spring’s midwest prairie view, I google “haiku.”

Japanese poem, three lines of five, seven, five, nature inspires.

The lake with its geese, “attached by a stream to Maine”, reminds Mom of home.

We may wonder why, we reach for the sun each day…It’s the way we love.

Goslings in the yard, Mom would enjoy if she could – I see for us both.

Neighbor boy in boots, plops butt-first in the puddle, his Dad and I smile.

The dogs tug the leash – trees bud, flowers bloom, birds sing – we rejoice at life.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Online History during Hospital Stay

…prednisone makes some patient’s worse, diverticulitis can be very painful, surgery is not always necessary, ice cream sandwiches and haikus help, dementia gets in the way of pain relief, delirium isn’t necessarily permanent, fecal impaction is no joke, Milk of Magnesia works…

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

The Manipulation/Essence of Caring

“…All I can say is if one day you start to lose your memory I promise to manipulate you to get you the best care and living situation possible even if you can’t understand why…” texted our college-age son when I expressed my concern about over-stepping in Mom’s care. Wow.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Around We Go

Mom at 2

“A defining event of my life occurred when I was 1 1/2 years old,” wrote Mom of a childhood infection, “I was lucky to survive.” I hoped that this time around, at almost 85, she would recover as she had back then. We just had to convince her to take her medicine!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Memory Dog Goes to the Hospital

It was the first time I’d signed a consent form on Mom’s behalf. As I waited for her bone marrow biopsy, I realized I was like a seeing eye dog, only my job was to provide short-term memory. When I told Mom later that I was happy to be her memory dog, she smiled groggily and asked me where my tail was.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

The Way that Redeems

Maybe for worriers, it’s a blessing to forget – what we cannot remember, we cannot fret. Somewhere in the middle, we may get stuck – then we’re totally, shit out of luck. Unless we have someone, standing right there – to give us a smile and offer us care. Being the one to get it done – can be a bit much and sometimes not fun. Being a part of a bigger team – that is the way, the way that redeems. : )

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Vacation Defined (the dictionaries and me)

Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …

“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …

“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Thought Bubble Reset

Dad and Me, circa 1976

Fifteen hundred miles from home and I was still worried about Mom. The wild weather at sea turned out to be exactly what I needed—like Dad was taking care of me from above, dumping water on my head, changing things up, and reminding me to accept when I’m not in control, to ride it out, and to let myself have some spontaneous fun.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

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