The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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#marchmadness

March 18, 2017

Family vacation with Mom, March 2007

I’m Okay: Stay or go? I don’t know. Them or her? I’m not sure. Where to be? Don’t ask me. Either way, I’m okay.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Maintaining balance Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Our Game

March 17, 2017

Mom and her mom, Gum, who showed her the way

“I like to help out where I can… to play Terry’s game,” said Mom when the doctor asked her what she liked to do. Here I thought I was helping her with her life, when what she wanted was to help me with mine. Sounded good to me!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Listening first Caregiving, Parenting, Pivoting, Reframing terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Note to Self

March 16, 2017

This is not the time to doubt what you’re capable of – this is the time to believe.

(Written along the way on a scrap of paper and stuck in a book)

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Believe terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

The Infinity between Now and Then

March 14, 2017

With Mom in our home, after decades living apart, we had countless moments at each other’s side. Even when time here on earth with our loved ones feels finite, we can still share infinite moments together.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Finding time Caregiving, Gratitude, Time terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Celebrating International Women’s Day

March 11, 2017

Mom and I spent the afternoon at the neuropsychologist’s office. Speaking of honoring women – what a blessing were Mom’s strength, resilience and good humor – it changed everything.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Gathering Info Alzheimer's Disease, Gratitude, In the Moment terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

When Did Forever Start?

March 10, 2017

Dedicated to our kids
who’ve kept us on our toes

So many questions asked along the way: “When did forever start?” Who can say? “Do soldiers have God?” I sure hope so. “Will you ever stop loving me?” Never, no.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Listening first Parenting, Time terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

The Baddest Thing I Ever Did

March 9, 2017

You ask me, “What was the baddest thing you ever did?”

Your seven-year-old innocence hanging there, between us in the air.

At first I shrug, where do I begin?

Someday maybe I’ll share…the baddest thing I ever did:

I said yes when I wish I’d said no…loss of me, loss of health, loss of time for my self.

Too ashamed to write down the details here, after all this time, still filled with fear.

Fear, you’ll love me less, if you only knew.

True love of me – a cliché I know, but one that is true.

Too much, too deep, too painful to pass along – even after all this time,

so I hold it all in and I answer you back,

“Oh, I did my share, but the baddest thing I did was not be honest to others,

to say yes when I wish I’d said no.”

Then I ask you back, “What was the baddest thing you ever did?”

You shrug.

Why didn’t I stick with that?

(A poem for our youngest, 2005)

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Making peace Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

The Joy of Caring

March 9, 2017

Mom and Me, circa 1968

I titled this blog, with our eldest son’s encouragement, the joy of caring.com, intending to care for Mom in a way that helped me stay healthy, sane, and balanced, so that I could be present for this part of her life in a way she would want, that would benefit my spouse and kids, and that made space for joy, too.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Maintaining balance Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Letting Go of Anonymity

March 9, 2017

It was time to be brave, to speak up, and to share publicly, trusting it’d be okay. So I launched this blog, practicing my motto when the kids were young: “Keep It Simple, Keep It Positive, Keep It Fun.”

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Letting go Acting as if terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Why Blog?

March 9, 2017

As we cared for 84-year-old Mom, diagnosed a year earlier with Alzheimer’s disease, I realized what a gift to her and to us were the scrapbooks she’d kept and the memoirs she’d penned. I wanted to create my own version of this for us and our kids. I hoped to turn all the writing I’d done into something that could help others, too. In a world where others weren’t afraid to speak up, I hoped to add a voice of hope.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Uncategorized terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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