Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
When I thought back on a lifetime with Mom (54 years and counting), I recalled her words, like salve to my soul. As reserved as she was, the words she chose stood out – even the ones that stung when delivered, felt like love now.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Stor
I don’t believe Mom saw Alzheimer’s coming; I do believe, though, that it would have eased her mind to know that she continued to make new friends, bringing joy, humor and grace, and inspiring the rest of us to do the same.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Dear Higher Power, Please help me to take heroic measures to love and care for Mom, to help her continue to live healthy and well – not to prolong the time when she is failing and unwell. Please help me to never give up, and also to let go when the time comes. Please help me to honor Mom while she is alive, and also when she dies. A DNR – natural death – is the right choice – it’s a choice my Mom has made. It’s a choice I agree with. It’s a choice that hurts and relieves. It’s a choice I need to respect. Please help me to find peace with Mom’s DNR. Thy will be done. Amen
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In a world with atrocity, apathy, anxiety, distraction and just plain busy-ness, I was touched by all the simple kindnesses that helped me as I helped Mom. Thanks to those simple, and often unexpected, kindnesses, the pieces of our life in Maine were starting to fall into place.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When a coach at the Not Too Late, women over 50, basketball camp said, “you’re only as strong as your biggest weakness,” her words resonated, giving me reason to keep working on me, on the court and off.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was grateful for my husband and kids and our awesome caregivers who spent enough time with Mom to know her well, to let me know what they saw, and to make sure she got her meds when I stepped away.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was grateful, too, that these days, I could sit at Mom’s side, no words necessary, knowing she felt my love and that it was the emotionality I once felt sorry about, that fueled me now in her daily care.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There’s plenty of literature out there about the challenge of being part of the “Sandwich Generation.” I too have sleepless nights worrying about Mom, as well as the kids. At the same time, I gotta admit, it’s pretty cool.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was especially grateful for the wisdom and support I received from so many places, including Mom – she may have forgotten some things due to Alzheimer’s, however there was an awful lot else she still reminded me to appreciate.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Two: “Came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” When offering Mom the paper birds to touch and the memory of our home in Wisconsin to connect didn’t soothe her, I took down the mobile and put it in a drawer. Sometimes, we just gotta believe someone we trust can take our worries away. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
