Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
AA’s Step Seven: “Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.” Faith in a Higher Power…It’s what helped me, Mom still in Maine for a bit longer, in another’s care. #thankGodforHannah! (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
As we weighed the challenges of getting Mom to camp vs. her love of summers there, I remembered her advice twenty-five years earlier when I asked her about taking our newborn first to live in Prague so that Doug could take a job there: “Go for it.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
While it complicated her care, Mom’s inability to remember the pain or other details had its advantages: she loved taking guilt-free naps with Cinnamon and regularly expressed gratitude for her good health when I tucked her in at night.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
After a busy spring, I was exhausted. It helped that, when our youngest played Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on his phone, Mom danced in her chair, from head to toe.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
It’d been fifteen years since Dad died, and I looked for him every day, grateful for all the ways he was still right here, with me.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In the many conversations we’d had regarding whether Mom wanted a DNR, this was her bottom line: “There’s no point to living if you’re not really living.” So, as I made our daily plans, in addition to the items Mom’s care required, I added time to enjoy a “calm and prolonged breakfast,” nature, and companionship.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In caring for Mom, stuff was gonna happen that we couldn’t foresee or prevent. I was relieved when I remembered Dad’s post-game basketball advice. It was time to let go of the woulda coulda shouldas inherent in Mom’s care and move on to what we could do for her next.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The challenges I faced as mother and daughter were strikingly similar, and what comforted me then, comforted me now: Faith is the way. Caregiving, like motherhood, is living proof of our Higher Power’s love.
For as long as I could remember, exercise had relieved stress and cleared my mind. These days, Mom rebounding, I hoped it would help me get my spark back too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
