The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story

June 6, 2023

When I was young, I loved my dad’s Douglas the Rabbit stories. It’s probably no coincidence that I married a Douglas of my own. When our kids were little, I tucked them into bed at night with Douglas stories too. After my dad died, I decided to write his story down, illustrating it with colored pencils which were easy to use in the midst of our busy family life. I enjoyed this process so much I created three more. 

When efforts to publish these stories proved unsuccessful–apparently, he’s not the only rabbit out there!–I tucked that goal away, along with the books, content to share them where I could: with my friend Pam who invited me to read to her second-grade class, with my niece Holly who took Douglas to Tanzania to share with kids there, and with my mom, Laures, who loved to peruse the unpublished books.

Little did my dad know when he made up those stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids. Little did I know that the stories I wrote to remember my dad after he died, and to save for our kids, would someday entertain my mom (see https://thejoyofcaring.com/2020/04/23/laughter-in-grief-showing-up-the-best-we-can-and-finding-hope-amidst-loss/).

We don’t always anticipate how our dots will connect, only that they somehow do. It’s just plain fun when things turn out all right, after all. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story which celebrates the good things in life: adventure, nature, friendship, homecoming, and more.

You can find The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story at your local book store (just ask) and online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, and Bookshop (just click).

And there are three more on the way – Enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Taking care of self Adventure, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 3 Comments

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

Walking with Mom, year two, in grief and in joy, too

June 25, 2021

As I stood on the stage, being ordained an interfaith minister by the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine, I heard and felt Mom’s presence in the birds singing in the trees and the gentle breeze on my face. I felt the pieces of my story settling into place. I was excited, curious and, most of all, ready, for whatever comes next.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Learning as we go, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Grief, Hospice Care, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

Grief and Guilt, a year later, and the Magic of Fruit Loops, Pivoting, Barking Dogs, Yellow Leaves and Blue Jays

October 12, 2020

As we returned home from an afternoon hike, Siena spotted another Blue Jay, this one perched in a tree at the top of our street. We looked at each other and smiled, understanding that Mom is still right here, with us. We just need to be available to the moment, the best we can.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, Alzheimer's Disease, Canine Caregiver, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Grief, Hospice Care, Life after death, Pet Therapy, Pivoting, Progress not Perfection terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

Labor of Love, another take on “caregiver burden”

September 10, 2020

Labor Day, after everyone left, leaving me and the dogs, I spent several hours doing the laundry, covering the boat, taking down the flag, moving things around, packing things up. Mom was with me every step of the way I realized as I stored the paddles behind the bathroom door, like she used to do. Sometimes what looks like a burden is actually an opportunity to heal.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Taking care of self #ENDALZ, #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

Mom’s birthday, another first

July 10, 2020

Looking at photos of 17-year-old Mom the summer her dad died, and following her as she marched forward into a life spent pushing the boundaries, I understood that her “living is for living” wasn’t just a way to deal with her elder years, it was the way she’d handled early loss and carried on.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Believe, Eldercare, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

Laughter in Grief – showing up the best we can and finding hope amidst loss

April 23, 2020

Little did Dad know when he made up Douglas the Rabbit stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids; little did I know that the stories I wrote down to remember Dad after he died, would someday entertain Mom, when she could no longer get out of bed.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, COVID-19, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

COVID-19 Staying at Home – finding guidance in parental wisdom during this time of pandemic stress

April 1, 2020

Tamridge, Mom and Dad, circa 1980

There were moments, when nothing seemed as it was and everything seemed newly tenuous. Dad’s “we shall see” and “bottom line” and Mom’s “living is for living” and “aren’t we lucky” reminded me to be patient, to simplify, to let go of fear, and to count our blessings.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Gathering Info, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Corona Virus 2019, COVID-19, Eldercare, Gratitude, In the Moment, Infection, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 14 Comments

Speaking of pep in her step – Cinnamon’s getting hers back too!

February 14, 2020

I worried when Mom died, we might lose Cinnamon too. Then, somewhere along the way, she reset her sights. It was as if the love we’d given her as a puppy, she gave to Mom during their life together, and all the love Mom gave her during that time, Cinnamon was passing on to us now.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Letting go, Listening first, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Canine Caregiver, Caregiving, Dementia, Eldercare, In the Moment, Life after death, Pet Therapy, Pets terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Pep to my Step – sharing the emotional toll of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, during and after

January 14, 2020

To ring in 2020, I went through the photos on my phone. Seeing all the good moments that preceded Mom’s last made my heart glad. I resolved to keep it simple – sleep, hydration, nutrition, exercise, writing, gratitude – while my heart adapted to this post-caregiving phase.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Learning as we go, Making peace, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiver burden, Caregiving, Eldercare, Keep it simple, Life after death terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
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  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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