Safe and sound in a familiar routine – A daring cross-country move 

Leaving a community of awesome people – Moving to another community of awesome people

The Midwest Prairie – The Atlantic Ocean

Encouragement – Discouragement

Remembering Mom’s “Go For It” and Dad’s “Don’t let the weather get in the way” – The Reality of Mom’s five-day hospital stay

Mom saying she’s so glad she’s here – Then forgetting where here is

Mom insisting she does not need a doctor – A doctor is exactly what she needs

An intestinal bleed due to too little clotting – Deep vein thrombosis due to too much clotting

Warm welcomes – Cold shoulders 

A medicine that stops a clot in its path – The same medicine threatens another bleed

Worrying whether I pushed too hard to get Mom back – Witnessing her joyful reunions with my brothers and their families 

Feeling alone at 4 AM – Feeling support at 9 AM when brother Dob surprises me with coffee

Questioning whether I’m fit for this job, after another sleepless night – Refinding my way, thanks to a prayer written by Megan, a dear friend in the Midwest

An unfinished house – Everyone involved going above and beyond to get it ready

Mom speculating about my spouse’s love life – He at our new home, cleaning and prepping, for our return

A compression sock that hurts so much to put on – A compression sock that helps her leg to heal

Night four in the hospital spent trying to climb over bed rails – Day five heralding freedom in the form of discharge, after she tells the doc she’s in no rush to get out

Nonsensical at bedtime, so exhausted from the week – Clarity the next day, as we go to our new home:

“Portland…” she says, when we drive though the city

“It hasn’t changed a bit,” she adds, as we turn up the road of my childhood home

“It’s so big and blue,” she observes after we wheel her seaside, her eyes tearing up

Afternoon spent watching boats go by – Evening spent worrying that she needs to pack 

My repeated assurance that we are not going anywhere – We are home for good.

Letting Go of Expectations, as they say in A.A. – Holding on to what’s helped before: my husband and kids, cousins and friends, research and advocacy, love and faith

Thank you. 

Amen.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story