Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
As we returned home from an afternoon hike, Siena spotted another Blue Jay, this one perched in a tree at the top of our street. We looked at each other and smiled, understanding that Mom is still right here, with us. We just need to be available to the moment, the best we can.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Labor Day, after everyone left, leaving me and the dogs, I spent several hours doing the laundry, covering the boat, taking down the flag, moving things around, packing things up. Mom was with me every step of the way I realized as I stored the paddles behind the bathroom door, like she used to do. Sometimes what looks like a burden is actually an opportunity to heal.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Mom died at dawn on Tuesday, October 15, 2019 – two years from the day we got her back to Maine. Then, at 54, our beautiful friend Terry T died too. Even in the midst of battling cancer, she’d texted me: Sorry about your mom, but I know, because I believe, that she is at peace. Thank you dear Terry T for showing me the way. Peace be with you, too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
It was an honor to be one of 130 Maine athletes to attend the National Senior Games where I played on Team Phoenix. Watching women, ages 50-90, play basketball, not only inspired me, it gave me hope – I wanted to be kicking ass when I’m in my eighties and beyond too!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When I thought back on a lifetime with Mom (54 years and counting), I recalled her words, like salve to my soul. As reserved as she was, the words she chose stood out – even the ones that stung when delivered, felt like love now.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Stor
When a coach at the Not Too Late, women over 50, basketball camp said, “you’re only as strong as your biggest weakness,” her words resonated, giving me reason to keep working on me, on the court and off.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There’s plenty of literature out there about the challenge of being part of the “Sandwich Generation.” I too have sleepless nights worrying about Mom, as well as the kids. At the same time, I gotta admit, it’s pretty cool.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was especially grateful for the wisdom and support I received from so many places, including Mom – she may have forgotten some things due to Alzheimer’s, however there was an awful lot else she still reminded me to appreciate.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Two: “Came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” When offering Mom the paper birds to touch and the memory of our home in Wisconsin to connect didn’t soothe her, I took down the mobile and put it in a drawer. Sometimes, we just gotta believe someone we trust can take our worries away. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I learned long ago, in Al-Anon, that when we feel irritable or unreasonable, we need to “HALT” – it may be that we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired. Sometimes HALTing means putting our own feet up, sometimes it means taking a moment to learn from others who are doing just that.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
