Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
Over the past seventeen years, Mike and his wife Jen had become dear friends – neighbors first, family later. All that was left to say was a deep-felt thank you to them and all our Midwest friends. I hoped our friendships would endure.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Getting Mom back to Maine among family and friends, the ocean near, was my own bucket list odyssey. My counselor said, “Some dreams do come true.” I hoped she was right.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Ten: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” These days, with how Mom’s Alzheimer’s anchors her in the moment, I’m grateful for how this slogan and Step Ten help me stay right here with her. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Sorting through Grammy’s records, I discovered she’d written under the pen name Acadia Manset, for her favorite haunts in Maine. The way she’d cared for her aging mother, Dora, inspired me to care for my mom like she had, in the sanctity of our home.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
How could we be so blessed a third time around? He’s so many things…among them a constant reminder that this is not a limited supply of love and beauty we are dealing with, it’s an endless one.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Of the many difficult decisions we’d made in caring for Mom, one of the most challenging was moving her away from her home in Maine. The time had come to move her back. Fingers crossed her health would remain stable until we got her there.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Starting to feel breathless with all the What Ifs, I remembered this AA slogan. The nurse drew blood and collected urine in record time and, free to go, I asked Mom what she wanted for lunch. “Something meaty,” she replied: First Things First!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Mom had referred to me as her sister and her friend. Then, as Tramadol messed with her mind, she asked me if I’d be her secretary and later, my personal favorite, her “Lady Girl.” I was just glad she still knew I was on her side.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Sunday morning, two days after we stopped the Tramadol, as she tried to make sense of the prior couple of days, Mom asked, “Who’s going to keep me from going crazy?” I was glad I could answer, “I will do my best, Mom, and Doug will help too.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Speak quietly with confidence, no need to yell.
Speak quietly with confidence, ‘til then listen well.
Don’t speak out of turn, when it’s not mine to learn.
Let them hold their own, now that they’re grown.
Forgive myself, I meant no harm.
Living learning, here on the farm.
(February 13, 2015)
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
