The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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Just Listen

Listen, just listen…why is it so hard to do, when I know it’s what you need from me most?

I start out trying, and the next thing I know, I’m speaking, advising, wanting to take your pain away.

Listen, just listen…why is it so hard to do?

I don’t want you to feel anxious, sad, or alone, even though I know that’s part of life too.

You’ll be okay, I’ll be okay, if I just let you be, to find your way.

So I’ll try to listen, just listen…as long as you’ll try to let me know, when it’s something different you need from me.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Around We Go

Mom at 2

“A defining event of my life occurred when I was 1 1/2 years old,” wrote Mom of a childhood infection, “I was lucky to survive.” I hoped that this time around, at almost 85, she would recover as she had back then. We just had to convince her to take her medicine!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

The Way that Redeems

Maybe for worriers, it’s a blessing to forget – what we cannot remember, we cannot fret. Somewhere in the middle, we may get stuck – then we’re totally, shit out of luck. Unless we have someone, standing right there – to give us a smile and offer us care. Being the one to get it done – can be a bit much and sometimes not fun. Being a part of a bigger team – that is the way, the way that redeems. : )

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Vacation Defined (the dictionaries and me)

Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …

“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …

“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Thought Bubble Reset

Dad and Me, circa 1976

Fifteen hundred miles from home and I was still worried about Mom. The wild weather at sea turned out to be exactly what I needed—like Dad was taking care of me from above, dumping water on my head, changing things up, and reminding me to accept when I’m not in control, to ride it out, and to let myself have some spontaneous fun.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

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