Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
Little did Dad know when he made up Douglas the Rabbit stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids; little did I know that the stories I wrote down to remember Dad after he died, would someday entertain Mom, when she could no longer get out of bed.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There were moments, when nothing seemed as it was and everything seemed newly tenuous. Dad’s “we shall see” and “bottom line” and Mom’s “living is for living” and “aren’t we lucky” reminded me to be patient, to simplify, to let go of fear, and to count our blessings.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
To ring in 2020, I went through the photos on my phone. Seeing all the good moments that preceded Mom’s last made my heart glad. I resolved to keep it simple – sleep, hydration, nutrition, exercise, writing, gratitude – while my heart adapted to this post-caregiving phase.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
On retreat with the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine, I took a long walk by myself in the woods. I flopped down in the fresh snow. I lay there, looking up at a tall evergreen that reached up to the blue sky (the blue Mom loved). I breathed in and out, deliberately, five times. It felt so good, I decided to go for ten.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
That Father’s Day, sixteen years since Dad died, I heard him heckle when I missed foul shots, laugh when I threw elbows, and cheer when I backed someone down. When I worried about missed opportunities, I recalled his “don’t worry about what’s over and done.” And, when I noticed the 85+-year-old men playing on a neighboring court, I imagined Dad and his killer hook shot in their midst. Too bad I didn’t get that gene!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When I discovered our eleven-year-old bunny rabbit sprawled out in her cage, I was hit with disbelief. Even when death is expected, peaceful, and quick, it can be hard to accept. I’m grateful for my spouse and neighbor Mandy who helped me through.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In support of a member facing a cancer diagnosis, her team had handed out bracelets with the words No One FIGHTS Alone! Running errands and thinking of this fierce, kind and resilient athlete, I pulled into Dunkin Donuts for an afternoon pick-up. When the guy in front of me bought my cup of coffee, it was the high five I needed, reminding me to reach out to others too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I don’t believe Mom saw Alzheimer’s coming; I do believe, though, that it would have eased her mind to know that she continued to make new friends, bringing joy, humor and grace, and inspiring the rest of us to do the same.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Dear Higher Power, Please help me to take heroic measures to love and care for Mom, to help her continue to live healthy and well – not to prolong the time when she is failing and unwell. Please help me to never give up, and also to let go when the time comes. Please help me to honor Mom while she is alive, and also when she dies. A DNR – natural death – is the right choice – it’s a choice my Mom has made. It’s a choice I agree with. It’s a choice that hurts and relieves. It’s a choice I need to respect. Please help me to find peace with Mom’s DNR. Thy will be done. Amen
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In a world with atrocity, apathy, anxiety, distraction and just plain busy-ness, I was touched by all the simple kindnesses that helped me as I helped Mom. Thanks to those simple, and often unexpected, kindnesses, the pieces of our life in Maine were starting to fall into place.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
