The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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A Mom’s Love, unlimited

May 11, 2025

Three decades ago, pregnant and new to Wisconsin, I injured my back. My spouse away, I was grateful for the friends who broke into our house to take care of our toddler and call for an ambulance.

The very next day, Mom flew in from Maine to take care of things while I got back on my feet (literally), and then break me out of the hospital, driving me home in the way back of the minivan to a first floor hospital bed she had procured.

That was Mom’s love: she showed up at the drop of a hat, wherever, whenever, and got the job done.

A year ago, record-breaking weather hit the home in Maine where we’d cared for Mom during her last stretch, in a first floor hospital bed we had procured. I wrote about that journey in Living Is for Living — Mom’s words when I asked for her two cents when Alzheimer’s disease made her health care tricky.

The historic storms and hefty clean-up were a wake-up call. Until then, my spouse and I had assigned what’s next? to the future. Suddenly, it was crystal clear it was time for us to consider our next steps.

In the midst of this, I flew to Wisconsin to be a good grandma and dog sit, a welcome distraction from wild weather stress. Waiting for the plane to de-ice on my homeward trek, I reflected on my attachment to the house we’d so lovingly renovated, which had brought me back to Maine after twenty-five years away. I loved our last chapter living there, with Mom, my husband, our adult kids, friends and pets. It was hard to fathom leaving it, even though Mom and several of the pets had passed on, and the kids had since fanned out far away.

With a heavy heart, I googled “how to let go of a house when you are emotionally attached.” There were lots of good ideas I’d try in the coming year, and I realized it was possible to love a home and its story the way I did and still move on. I just needed to trust that the next chapter could be awesome too.

Just then I looked up to spot, two seats ahead, a baseball cap that read October 15, 1997.

While 1997 didn’t strike a chord, October 15 did. That’s the day Mom had died, in our beloved seaside home, me and the animals at her side.

All of a sudden, I knew without doubt, that Mom was with me, and that she’d continue to be with me, wherever I am and wherever I go.

I don’t need a certain house to keep her close.

That is Mom’s love: it isn’t limited to time or place, it’s with me wherever I am, wherever I go.

Mom’s “Living Is for Living” is all I need to keep her near. This reminder’s helped me through challenges I’ve encountered since, wrapping up the last chapter and turning toward the next, this one yet to be written.

Here’s to a Mom’s love, unlimited — Happy Mother’s Day!

Accepting help, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story

June 6, 2023

When I was young, I loved my dad’s Douglas the Rabbit stories. It’s probably no coincidence that I married a Douglas of my own. When our kids were little, I tucked them into bed at night with Douglas stories too. After my dad died, I decided to write his story down, illustrating it with colored pencils which were easy to use in the midst of our busy family life. I enjoyed this process so much I created three more. 

When efforts to publish these stories proved unsuccessful–apparently, he’s not the only rabbit out there!–I tucked that goal away, along with the books, content to share them where I could: with my friend Pam who invited me to read to her second-grade class, with my niece Holly who took Douglas to Tanzania to share with kids there, and with my mom, Laures, who loved to peruse the unpublished books.

Little did my dad know when he made up those stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids. Little did I know that the stories I wrote to remember my dad after he died, and to save for our kids, would someday entertain my mom (see https://thejoyofcaring.com/2020/04/23/laughter-in-grief-showing-up-the-best-we-can-and-finding-hope-amidst-loss/).

We don’t always anticipate how our dots will connect, only that they somehow do. It’s just plain fun when things turn out all right, after all. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story which celebrates the good things in life: adventure, nature, friendship, homecoming, and more.

You can find The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story at your local book store (just ask) and online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, and Bookshop (just click).

And there are three more on the way – Enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Taking care of self Adventure, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 3 Comments

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

Father’s Day in Albuquerque

June 22, 2019

Me and Dad, circa 1974
Me and Dad, circa 1974

That Father’s Day, sixteen years since Dad died, I heard him heckle when I missed foul shots, laugh when I threw elbows, and cheer when I backed someone down. When I worried about missed opportunities, I recalled his “don’t worry about what’s over and done.” And, when I noticed the 85+-year-old men playing on a neighboring court, I imagined Dad and his killer hook shot in their midst. Too bad I didn’t get that gene!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Learning from mistakes, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Gratitude, Health first, Infinity, Keep it simple, Life after death, Losing a loved one, Marriage, Millennials, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

RIP little bunny – processing grief in Alzheimer’s and elsewhere, and finding meaning to help us through

May 4, 2019

When I discovered our eleven-year-old bunny rabbit sprawled out in her cage, I was hit with disbelief. Even when death is expected, peaceful, and quick, it can be hard to accept. I’m grateful for my spouse and neighbor Mandy who helped me through.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, In the Moment, Keep it simple, Life after death, Losing a loved one, Marriage, One day at a time terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

High Fives All Around – We’ve Got This

April 12, 2019

In support of a member facing a cancer diagnosis, her team had handed out bracelets with the words No One FIGHTS Alone! Running errands and thinking of this fierce, kind and resilient athlete, I pulled into Dunkin Donuts for an afternoon pick-up. When the guy in front of me bought my cup of coffee, it was the high five I needed, reminding me to reach out to others too.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Maintaining balance, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Acting as if, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting, Step 12 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

“Excuse Me”- Saving Face and Alzheimer’s disease

December 1, 2018

Helping caregiver Jess shop for her wedding dress

I don’t believe Mom saw Alzheimer’s coming; I do believe, though, that it would have eased her mind to know that she continued to make new friends, bringing joy, humor and grace, and inspiring the rest of us to do the same.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Letting go, Making peace Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

What is basketball? – aka caring for me

August 3, 2018

When a coach at the Not Too Late, women over 50, basketball camp said, “you’re only as strong as your biggest weakness,” her words resonated, giving me reason to keep working on me, on the court and off.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Taking care of self #ENDALZ, #gotitfrommymama, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

Thank You for That, aka an Attitude of Gratitude

February 8, 2018

I was especially grateful for the wisdom and support I received from so many places, including Mom – she may have forgotten some things due to Alzheimer’s, however there was an awful lot else she still reminded me to appreciate.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Maintaining balance #ENDALZ, #gotitfrommymama, Acting as if, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage, Parenting, Pets terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

January Freeze, Step Two’s Coming to Believe

February 5, 2018

IMG_0970

AA’s Step Two: “Came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” When offering Mom the paper birds to touch and the memory of our home in Wisconsin to connect didn’t soothe her, I took down the mobile and put it in a drawer. Sometimes, we just gotta believe someone we trust can take our worries away. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith #ENDALZ, Acting as if, Alzheimer's Disease, Anxiety, Caregiving, Depression, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage, Parenting, The Twelve Steps terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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