The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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What Next? (dropping our youngest off at college)

Earnest 18-year-old you with me in your heart, asks me straight up “What next?”

You don’t want me to miss out on my life making sure that she doesn’t miss out on hers.

“I’m not sure,” I admit – I tell you the truth, cuz I value your two cents, and you’d see through anything else.

“I’m taking it a day at a time, trying to draw out this phase, trusting I’ll know when it’s time for a change.

Seriously, how lucky am I, that in the midst of your world, you see me sitting here, and give me just what I need.

Although I’m still not sure what is next, I promise to take care of me the best I can, in the mix.

All I ask is you do the same…What’s next for you?

Great things, I have no doubt – and I will cheer your every step.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Curveball Complete (what I learned during Mom’s second hospital stay)

I was starting to feel emotional about the changes ahead and grateful for the prospect of time together beforehand, when I noticed Mom’s intestinal bleed – a “complete curveball” my husband called it… and a classic example of the importance of “Letting Go of Expectations,” as they say in AA.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Under One Roof

Under one roof – a tremendous relief – our whole family, even when it’s brief.

Truly, I’m glad they’re livin’ their dreams – still, it’s not always as great as it seems.

Keepin’ it simple, I miss ’em when they’re away – not said to hold ’em back, just to enjoy this day.

There’s nuthin’ in the world like our home when it’s full – the laughter, the fun, even the bull.

A rambunctious crowd – I’d have it no other way – this is our family, each with our say.

Monday will come, as will the Fall, we’ll rearrange, still we’ll always be all.

Under one roof – a tremendous relief – our whole family, even when it’s brief.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Guess Who Got Her Spark Back?

When she got into bed, Mom said “I’m sorry” – I’m not quite sure for what. I answered “I’m sorry” back – I’m not quite sure for what for. It broke my heart even as I knew it meant that the part of her that I had feared had shut down for good was back. How lucky am I?

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Vacation Defined (the dictionaries and me)

Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …

“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …

“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

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