The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit’s Winter Holiday Surprise

October 2, 2023

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”—Victor Hugo (1802-1885), author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables

Across traditions, winter holidays are observed with decorations, foods, gifts, lights, rituals, and visits with family and friends. They celebrate hope and joy, even amidst hardship. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer:

In this last book of the series, Douglas invites the other animals to a gathering that captures the friendships they share. It’s a reminder of the importance of making time for what matters most: Connection to others and the world we share.

This one’s a shout-out to my spouse, Doug, and our children—Siena, Matt, and Garrett—with whom we witness the humor and beauty around us, with special thanks to the sightings that inspired the illustrations: Canadian geese skidding to a stop across fresh ice, paper snowflakes created by the kids from coffee filters, shooting stars streaking across the night sky.

I share this story today, on what would have been Dad’s 90th birthday, in gratitude for all the ways he made us laugh, including his story-telling, and for encouraging me to tell stories, too.

“Peace and quiet,” he’d say, a twinkle in his eye, when I’d ask him what he wanted for his birthday.

When I ask myself that question, as I approach my sixtieth, what I want is the gift of kindness.

So, in wrapping the Douglas the Rabbit Adventure Series, it makes sense that, even without doing so intentionally, this final story celebrates these three gifts: peace, quiet, and kindness.

I hope you enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Letting go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith, Sacred Practices, Taking care of self, Uncategorized Celebrating joy, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Natural beauty, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Seeing What Is Right in front of Us

September 12, 2023

We find ourselves by looking out at what looks back…

—Poet David Whyte in Lon’s Fort (Many Rivers Press, 2012)


As we celebrate the resurrection of the retaining wall out front,

meant to keep the dogs in and the water out, I take my daily walk.

Everywhere I look, I see walls…rock, metal, brick, vinyl, cement.

Some crumbling, some reinforced. Some peeling, some painted fresh. 

Some leaning, some erect. Some clean and bare, some covered in growth.

Some walls are ornamental, some utilitarian. Some provide privacy, some protect. 

Some are new; some are old…boundaries then, gardens now. 

Some have spikes delivering a clear STAY OUT, some offer a deliberate way in.

Nothing says WELCOME like an open gate.

Together, the walls I see around me remind me of the the walls I’ve built inside me:

WHO were my walls meant to keep in and out? 

WHAT do they look like from the other side? 

WHEN did I build them and do they still serve? 

WHERE do I let others through?

WHY do I keep my walls in place? 

HOW can I reinforce them? HOW can I tear them down?

In the midst of all this, I see a wall doubling as a lost and found,

a pair of pink plastic sunglasses resting on top.

I wonder who left them and what adventure they were on.

I remember when our kids were young, the way walls inspired climbing, balancing, jumping…

simpler times for sure.

And so I walk on, a smile on my face, grateful that finding the answers isn’t always necessary,

that sometimes just seeing the questions is enough.

Learning as we go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Navigating Concerns, Practicing faith, Self-Reflection Gratitude, Keep it simple, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

1, 2, 3…ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit’s Fall Field Trip

August 21, 2023

With autumn in sight, I’m eager to share another fun story:

The third book in the series, this one is dedicated to my cousin Margie (“Pea-Wea”) who fondly recalls Dad’s yarns and joins me on adventures of our own, making me laugh every step of the way (note above photo, circa 1976). I’m grateful for friends like her who offer encouragement while keeping it real, and also help me recall the details so that we can reminisce long after.

The drawings of Brown’s farm were inspired by Margie’s childhood home in Waterville, Maine, where we played all kinds of rambunctious games with her siblings, Andy and Beth. I appreciate how their parents, Uncle Bill and Ainty Joano, kept the doors open and the treats hidden… where we could easily find ’em!

Book Three merges these recollections with adult memories of R’s Farm of Mequon, Wisconsin, where my spouse and I took our own kids, year after year, for fun fall outings. I’m thankful, too, for the examples set by our bunnies, Mocha and Cocoa, who showed us how rabbits do what they do, and by our dogs, Bubby, Daisy and Yaz, who alerted us to visitors when the kids were young.

Here’s to the beauty of the upcoming season—can’t you just smell the warm apple pie?

PS: Click on the book to find it online, or go to your local bookstore and ask for it there. Enjoy!

Having fun, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Uncategorized Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Up next, just in time for Mom’s birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends

July 19, 2023

Douglas the Rabbit is a character that my dad created when I was a girl. The first book, The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story, introduced Douglas and his adventurous spirit. The second book, Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends, goes back to the previous spring to describe how Douglas befriends a bird, a skunk, a chipmunk, and a fox… a diverse group of animals, for sure.

While the first story stayed true to the story my dad told, this one reflects my own everyday adventures with my family and pets, especially our hamster Mischief who showed us how she could store treats in her cheeks.

And too, it reflects Mom’s GO FOR IT approach to new challenges – which I celebrate today, her 91st birthday.

Click on the book photo to find it on Amazon, or go to your local bookstore and ask for it there. Enjoy!

Accepting help, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud #gotitfrommymama, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story

June 6, 2023

When I was young, I loved my dad’s Douglas the Rabbit stories. It’s probably no coincidence that I married a Douglas of my own. When our kids were little, I tucked them into bed at night with Douglas stories too. After my dad died, I decided to write his story down, illustrating it with colored pencils which were easy to use in the midst of our busy family life. I enjoyed this process so much I created three more. 

When efforts to publish these stories proved unsuccessful–apparently, he’s not the only rabbit out there!–I tucked that goal away, along with the books, content to share them where I could: with my friend Pam who invited me to read to her second-grade class, with my niece Holly who took Douglas to Tanzania to share with kids there, and with my mom, Laures, who loved to peruse the unpublished books.

Little did my dad know when he made up those stories for us kids, that someday I’d share them with my kids. Little did I know that the stories I wrote to remember my dad after he died, and to save for our kids, would someday entertain my mom (see https://thejoyofcaring.com/2020/04/23/laughter-in-grief-showing-up-the-best-we-can-and-finding-hope-amidst-loss/).

We don’t always anticipate how our dots will connect, only that they somehow do. It’s just plain fun when things turn out all right, after all. In that spirit, I’m excited to offer The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story which celebrates the good things in life: adventure, nature, friendship, homecoming, and more.

You can find The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story at your local book store (just ask) and online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, and Bookshop (just click).

And there are three more on the way – Enjoy!

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Taking care of self Adventure, Eldercare, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Life after death, Marriage, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 3 Comments

Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story is launched!

November 28, 2022

What I am letting go in publishing this book isn’t Mom; it isn’t my caregiving journey; it isn’t even all the reflection I’ve done along the way. What I am letting go is fear, the what ifs, the wish for one more do-over, choosing, instead, to let love fill our sails:

If you or someone you know is interested in reading Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story, it is available to order at your local book store (just ask) and also online at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, IndieBound, and Bookshop (just click).

Thank you for your interest and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings this holiday season.

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Having fun, Helping others, Laughing out loud, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Listening first, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Speaking up, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Eldercare, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 5 Comments

On the Edge, aka re-finding balance in caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease

August 29, 2019

Stepping away gave me time to feel Alzheimer’s vastness – like standing beside the Grand Canyon, exhausted, I felt overwhelmed, like I could fall right in. The following summer, during valuable caregiving hours, my spouse and I visited local memory and nursing care facilities. Our options better understood, I could get back to taking it a day at a time and feeling grateful for the moments we still had with Mom in our home. 

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Gathering Info, Learning as we go, Learning from mistakes, Letting go, Looking forward, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Practicing faith, Taking care of self A day at a time, Caregiver burden, Eldercare, Gratitude, Parenting, Step 3 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 10 Comments

Father’s Day in Albuquerque

June 22, 2019

Me and Dad, circa 1974
Me and Dad, circa 1974

That Father’s Day, sixteen years since Dad died, I heard him heckle when I missed foul shots, laugh when I threw elbows, and cheer when I backed someone down. When I worried about missed opportunities, I recalled his “don’t worry about what’s over and done.” And, when I noticed the 85+-year-old men playing on a neighboring court, I imagined Dad and his killer hook shot in their midst. Too bad I didn’t get that gene!

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Having fun, Laughing out loud, Learning from mistakes, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Gratitude, Health first, Infinity, Keep it simple, Life after death, Losing a loved one, Marriage, Millennials, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 8 Comments

High Fives All Around – We’ve Got This

April 12, 2019

In support of a member facing a cancer diagnosis, her team had handed out bracelets with the words No One FIGHTS Alone! Running errands and thinking of this fierce, kind and resilient athlete, I pulled into Dunkin Donuts for an afternoon pick-up. When the guy in front of me bought my cup of coffee, it was the high five I needed, reminding me to reach out to others too.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Finding time, Having fun, Helping others, Learning as we go, Maintaining balance, Practicing faith, Taking care of self Acting as if, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting, Step 12 terry@thejoyofcaring.com 6 Comments

Simple Kindness

October 24, 2018

When in doubt

In a world with atrocity, apathy, anxiety, distraction and just plain busy-ness, I was touched by all the simple kindnesses that helped me as I helped Mom. Thanks to those simple, and often unexpected, kindnesses, the pieces of our life in Maine were starting to fall into place.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Accepting help, Learning as we go, Maintaining balance, Making peace, Taking care of self Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, One day at a time, Parenting terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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