Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y
When a coach at the Not Too Late, women over 50, basketball camp said, “you’re only as strong as your biggest weakness,” her words resonated, giving me reason to keep working on me, on the court and off.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was grateful, too, that these days, I could sit at Mom’s side, no words necessary, knowing she felt my love and that it was the emotionality I once felt sorry about, that fueled me now in her daily care.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
There’s plenty of literature out there about the challenge of being part of the “Sandwich Generation.” I too have sleepless nights worrying about Mom, as well as the kids. At the same time, I gotta admit, it’s pretty cool.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I was especially grateful for the wisdom and support I received from so many places, including Mom – she may have forgotten some things due to Alzheimer’s, however there was an awful lot else she still reminded me to appreciate.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
AA’s Step Two: “Came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” When offering Mom the paper birds to touch and the memory of our home in Wisconsin to connect didn’t soothe her, I took down the mobile and put it in a drawer. Sometimes, we just gotta believe someone we trust can take our worries away. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
I learned long ago, in Al-Anon, that when we feel irritable or unreasonable, we need to “HALT” – it may be that we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired. Sometimes HALTing means putting our own feet up, sometimes it means taking a moment to learn from others who are doing just that.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
In Barbara Cooney’s Ms. Rumphius, a young girl tells her elderly aunt, “When I grow up, I too will go to faraway places, and when I grow old, I too will live beside the sea” to which her aunt responds, “There is a third thing you must do. You must do something to make the world more beautiful.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
“When we get to Maine…” Mom often said, as she sat in our new home, here in Maine. Then, returning in the snow from the doctor’s office, we passed the dentist she’d gone to for five decades. “Dr. Ortengren…” she read aloud from the sign, and then turned toward me with a, “I guess we’re home.”
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Why bother having kids if friendship isn’t the ultimate goal? That doesn’t mean abdicating parental responsibilities, it means building honest communication, when our kids are little and when they’re big. It’s not always easy; still, it seems to me, it’s the whole point.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The wonder of it is, finding and using a more loving language is something we can all do, here and now, to make the world more beautiful.
