For as long as I could remember, exercise had relieved stress and cleared my mind. These days, Mom rebounding, I hoped it would help me get my spark back too.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
What Is Your Reason?
Guess Who Got Her Spark Back?
When she got into bed, Mom said “I’m sorry” – I’m not quite sure for what. I answered “I’m sorry” back – I’m not quite sure for what for. It broke my heart even as I knew it meant that the part of her that I had feared had shut down for good was back. How lucky am I?
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Just Listen
Listen, just listen…why is it so hard to do, when I know it’s what you need from me most?
I start out trying, and the next thing I know, I’m speaking, advising, wanting to take your pain away.
Listen, just listen…why is it so hard to do?
I don’t want you to feel anxious, sad, or alone, even though I know that’s part of life too.
You’ll be okay, I’ll be okay, if I just let you be, to find your way.
So I’ll try to listen, just listen…as long as you’ll try to let me know, when it’s something different you need from me.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
The Manipulation/Essence of Caring
“…All I can say is if one day you start to lose your memory I promise to manipulate you to get you the best care and living situation possible even if you can’t understand why…” texted our college-age son when I expressed my concern about over-stepping in Mom’s care. Wow.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Vacation Defined (the dictionaries and me)
Vacation (noun)(vā-kā′shən, və-) “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation”(thefreedictionary.com) … the sun on the horizon, the wind in the palms, the waves on the beach, my family in their beds asleep, and Mom at home safe and sound …
“… a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation …”(merriam-webster.com)… exploring new places, reading a book just for fun, closing my eyes – sun on my hat, sand under my feet, enjoying new foods prepared by another, talking and laughing, together, apart …
“… the time during which a person temporarily ceases regular duties of any kind and performs other activities … typically used for rest, travel, or recreation, but may be used for any purpose …” (webster-dictionary.org)… I step away, I unravel, I rejuvenate, I rediscover, and I look forward to returning home to Mom.
—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Thought Bubble Reset
Fifteen hundred miles from home and I was still worried about Mom. The wild weather at sea turned out to be exactly what I needed—like Dad was taking care of me from above, dumping water on my head, changing things up, and reminding me to accept when I’m not in control, to ride it out, and to let myself have some spontaneous fun.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Step Three, Mid-Air Challenge
AA’s Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power.” Like the kids when they were young, Mom trusted me so completely it was sobering; it helped to know I wasn’t alone. (See, Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
#marchmadness
I’m Okay: Stay or go? I don’t know. Them or her? I’m not sure. Where to be? Don’t ask me. Either way, I’m okay.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
Our Game
“I like to help out where I can… to play Terry’s game,” said Mom when the doctor asked her what she liked to do. Here I thought I was helping her with her life, when what she wanted was to help me with mine. Sounded good to me!
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
When Did Forever Start?
So many questions asked along the way: “When did forever start?” Who can say? “Do soldiers have God?” I sure hope so. “Will you ever stop loving me?” Never, no.
—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story
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