The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

Categories

Tags

#ENDALZ #gotitfrommymama Acting as if Alzheimer's Disease Believe Caregiver burden Caregiving COVID-19 Deep Vein Thrombosis Dementia Diverticulitis Eldercare Friendship Fun Gratitude Grief Health concerns Health first Hospice Care Hospitalization Infection In the Moment Keep it simple Life after death Losing a loved one Marriage Memory Loss Millennials One day at a time Parenting Pets Pet Therapy Pivoting Prednisone side effects Reframing Siblings Step 3 Step 4 Step 9 Step 11 Step 12 The Twelve Steps The Twelve Steps of AA Time Working outside the home

  • Reading List
  • Contact Me

The Joy of Not Caring, aka “hypersensitive” me

November 17, 2017

I’ve been called many things by those who are supposed to know me best: 

“hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts.”

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get to a place where their words don’t cause me pain.

Probably not…that’s one of the costs of being:

“hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts.”

Here are some things I’ve realized, moving back to where I’m from:

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I don’t need to be loved by everybody, just by some.

I can choose those who accept sensitivity, emotionality and even nuttiness.

I can live with the anger I feel at expectations unmet,

the fear I feel at being judged, and the sadness I feel at being rejected.

I can take care of me, even when it’s difficult –

exercise, hydration, nutrition, sleep, writing, friendship, animals, family, faith –

The healing these bring is within reach.

This is the way to take care of me, not believing what I am told when I am not who others want me to be.

“Hypersensitive”, “too emotional”, even “nuts” – yes!

With these three things, I’ve been blessed.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Maintaining balance Detachment, Gratitude, Health first, Marriage, Pet Therapy, Step 11, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

Post DVT Haikus

November 9, 2017

Deep vein thrombosis, her leg all swollen and blue, and we feared a bleed.

On blood thinner now, filter protecting her lungs, home to recover.

Compression stocking, why are you so freakin’ tight? No more blood clots, right?

Noticing the bench, “I played piano on that…” she says with a smile.

“Is that Mother’s chair?” I nod at the needlepoint, “Is she still around?”

“About the baby, can we make a plan to see?” a great grandma now.

Behind her at work, the builder pounding away, making our home sound.

Ever resilient, her eyes as blue as the sea, a cat with nine lives.

Mom sits with a book, dog in lap rocking a way, a smile on my face.

Eighty-five years young, expect the unexpected, one day at a time.

—from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Having fun #ENDALZ, Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, One day at a time, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

A-yuh, aka “Do you even go to church?”

November 6, 2017

While I respected that church was the best way for some to worship, it wasn’t the only way. I was grateful for all the diverse experiences that had helped me develop a faith that guided me daily and set me free.

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Caregiver burden, Gratitude, Parenting, Step 11, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

Step Ten, “Progress Not Perfection”

October 5, 2017

FullSizeRender-1

AA’s Step Ten: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” These days, with how Mom’s Alzheimer’s anchors her in the moment, I’m grateful for how this slogan and Step Ten help me stay right here with her. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Gratitude, Health first, Keep it simple, Marriage, One day at a time, Parenting, Progress not Perfection, Step 10, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Step Nine, “Let Me Be Free!” and the Relief of Making Amends

September 4, 2017

AA’s Step Nine: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” It felt good to take responsibility for that which weighed me down, setting it right the best I could and starting fresh, like five-year-old Siena sledding down a snowy hill shouting “Let Me Be Free!” (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Parenting, Step 9, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Step Eight Discernment

August 7, 2017

AA’s Step Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” According to a fortune cookie, my life was about to get more interesting. It was time to move on with faith and open up to the healing ahead. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Health first, Step 8, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Step Seven Humility

July 13, 2017

AA’s Step Seven: “Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.” Faith in a Higher Power…It’s what helped me, Mom still in Maine for a bit longer, in another’s care. #thankGodforHannah! (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Friendship, Health first, Marriage, Parenting, Step 7, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com 2 Comments

Step Six Readiness

June 1, 2017

AA’s Step Six: “Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.” These days, Dad was my ever-present ally, his wisdom helping me care for Mom each step of the way. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Practicing faith Step 6, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

Step Five and the Transformation of Being Heard

May 16, 2017

Jennie's Happy Place
From my sister-in-law Jennie’s May garden

AA’s Step Five:  “Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Not only does being heard set us free, being able to listen without having to jump in and rescue is transforming as well. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Listening first Parenting, Step 12, Step 5, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

Step Four, Looking Inward with Love

April 10, 2017

AA’s Step Four: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” I found myself fretting: was I doing enough to care for Mom? I was grateful for the gentle, healing opportunity offered by Step Four. (Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Taking care of self Believe, Step 4, The Twelve Steps of AA terry@thejoyofcaring.com Leave a Comment

  • 1
  • 2
  • Next Page »

I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 57 other subscribers

Top Posts & Pages

  • A Mom's Love, unlimited
  • Newest Release...
  • Upcoming Book Release: A Seal Named Sunshine
  • The Wrap: Douglas the Rabbit's Winter Holiday Surprise
  • Seeing What Is Right in front of Us
  • A Giant Lesson in Mindfulness
  • 1, 2, 3...ready or not, here we come: Douglas the Rabbit's Fall Field Trip
  • Up next, just in time for Mom's birthday: Douglas the Rabbit Makes Some Friends
  • Introducing my next adventure: The Original Douglas the Rabbit Story
  • Living Is for Living: A Caregiver's Story is launched!

Archives

  • May 2025
  • January 2024
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2021
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • July 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • August 2018
  • April 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017

Pages

  • Reading List
  • Contact Me

Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

Spam Blocked

1,436 spam blocked by Akismet

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 57 other subscribers

© 2025 ·Journey · by WPStud.io