The Joy of Caring

Reflections of a Daughter of the Silent Generation and Mother of Generation Y

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Empty Nest Plus One

September 12, 2017

Screen Shot 2017-09-08 at 12.29.12 PM
Mom and Doug, a couple summers back

Sunday morning, two days after we stopped the Tramadol, as she tried to make sense of the prior couple of days, Mom asked, “Who’s going to keep me from going crazy?” I was glad I could answer, “I will do my best, Mom, and Doug will help too.”

—excerpt from Living Is for Living: A Caregiver’s Story

Learning as we go #ENDALZ, Alzheimer's Disease, Back Pain, Caregiving, Diverticulitis, Gratitude, Keep it simple, Marriage, Millennials, Pain relief, Parenting, Step 9, Tramadol Side Effects terry@thejoyofcaring.com 4 Comments

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  1. Julie tselikis says

    September 13, 2017 at 1:02 am

    Terry, So many emotions surfaced when I read your beautiful thoughts about caring for your mother. My own mother died three years ago at 96. She still lived in her own home, but she had caregivers. Like your mother, she didn’t want to be “a bother”. In retrospect, I wish she had come to be w/us, because her last few months were sad. She was not the happy mother I knew. So Terry, you and your family will never regret having done this, even though it is not what the “empty nest” was supposed to be like for you and your, obviously very kind and thoughtful, husband. What I have learned about you, Terry, is that you are the same very sensitive, kind, and beautiful young woman that I recall when you were a student at C.E.M.S. Keep writing your thoughts, keep caring for your Mom, and keep loving your wonderful family. Special thoughts and prayers going to you from me. Hugs from your old school nurse

    Reply
    • terry@thejoyofcaring.com says

      July 1, 2021 at 10:59 am

      Thank you Ms. Lomack for continuing to be there for me : )

      Reply
  2. Laurie Schears says

    September 13, 2017 at 1:15 am

    You are blessed that she is good natured. Many people become nasty and difficult to please. My siblings and I are struggling to keep our parents in their own home, but my dad is often irritable and unappreciative, and mom is failing quickly. Lots of mixed emotions, feelings of guilt when I get impatient with them, proud that have lived this long (almost 92 and 90). Taking it day by day week by week. Take care.

    Reply
    • terry@thejoyofcaring.com says

      July 1, 2021 at 11:01 am

      I get the guilt you describe Laurie – I have felt it too. Patience takes patience. I hope you are well.

      Reply

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I am Acadia Manset's granddaughter. Raised in Maine, graduated from Dartmouth College and Harvard Law, I have spent the last 24 years parenting. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom has moved in, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I never anticipated. I hope that this site will inspire insight and growth, humor and fun, questions and answers, for you and for me.

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Raised in Maine, I had spent the prior 24 years parenting, mostly in Wisconsin. With our adult kids in the process of leaving the nest, my mom moved in, from Maine, leading to precious time and daily opportunities I had never anticipated. I launched this site in 2017 as a way to share that experience, hoping to pass along what I was learning about Alzheimer's disease, to process the challenging parts, and to have some fun too. I never anticipated the way the community of readers would fuel me in staying the course. Today, I am deeply grateful for that, and so much more.

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